It Doesn’t Matter

12192013 holy night

My kitchen wall art

Merry Christmas from New Jersey!

Pretty much exactly a month ago we moved.  Right before Thanksgiving.  We moved from a HUGE six bedroom house to a cute little (emphasis on little, although huge by NYC standards!) duplex and purged a bunch of stuff so we could fit into a two-bedroom.  As my husband was returning the rental truck, it occurred to him that the truck would not fit under the awning in the parking lot that adjoined the rental company and the neighboring restaurant.  He stopped the truck, and looked to see if there was an alternate way inside the parking lot, but it appeared the restaurant had blocked the entrance with valeted cars.

A valet came out and began yelling, telling him he needed to get his truck out of the way or else.

He explained that he was trying to return the truck, and valeted cars were blocking the entrance to the rental company.

You can imagine the next few sentences, I won’t print them for you.  No one benefits from that.

Needless to say, the owner came out and told my husband if he didn’t move his truck, he would stick him in a “dumpster, and no one will ever hear from you again.”

David got back in his truck, a little shaken (At that point he was certain the mob did in fact exist!) and waited.  Finally they moved the valeted cars and he could return the rental.  A call to the rental company the next morning was in order, where they refunded half the cost of the truck because of all the trouble returning the vehicle.  I guess that helped to soften the blow of this kind of experience, but really?!  A dumpster?  What is going on people?!

A couple weeks ago I went to Costco.  You know how the Costco parking lot is.  CRAZY.  Especially during the holidays.  I found a spot, and began pulling in when this other vehicle pulled up next to me before I could get in the spot and started going crazy on me.  “Are you kidding me?!” She yelled at me. “I was here, this is my spot!” My jaw dropped.  Literally dropped.  I had my blinker on, I’d patiently waited for this spot!

David told me to let her have it and to just find another.  So I did, with a grudge of course.

I could go on and keep complaining, but in all seriousness, it doesn’t matter.

12192013 snow

So much snow!

I think our senses and emotions are heightened during this time of year.  People will be overly generous and some will be downright mean.  It doesn’t matter what they do.

What will you do?  How will you be?  What are you teaching your child?  Who will you be?

It’s hard to remember this, right?!  It’s so hard.  I wanted to yell right back at that woman and tell her to go find another parking spot because that one was mine.  I’m sure my super-non-violent husband wanted to punch the guy who wanted to put him in a dumpster.  But in reality it’s just dumb.  Downright dumb.  It doesn’t matter what they do.  It matters who I am, and who I belong to.

It’s hard to remember this when it comes to good things, too.  When a coworker gives you an expensive gift, do you run out and match their generosity?  It doesn’t matter what they do.  What’s in your heart, your budget, your ability?  As cliche as it sounds, a lot of people really don’t give expecting to receive.  It doesn’t matter what they do.

Today, we leave for a Christmas vacation visiting family in California.  It’s a much needed vacation for my husband, and I don’t want anything to ruin it.  And then I remember… It doesn’t matter what anyone else does.  It doesn’t matter if the plane is delayed, if the snow keeps falling, if security gives us a hard time because we have a baby without a boarding pass because she’s a lap child, or if we forget something.  We have a choice.

I choose JOY.

It doesn’t matter what they do, okay?  Choose joy.  Choose it, cling to it, harbor it, relish in it.  Merry Christmas!

Rachel Signature2

21 thoughts on “It Doesn’t Matter

  1. this reminds me of all the posts I see on FB from women about the only one you should be trying to please is God. Sometimes, it is REALLY hard (like your examples) to not let that other person steal your JOY. I’m working hard to keep my joy intact. Have a safe and wonderful trip!

    • It is soooo hard sometimes Sam! Today I was packing for our trip and trying to clean up the house and make breakfast and then lunch and aaaaah so many times today I had to just say “Just choose it!” haha. It does make it easier, as cheesy as it is! 🙂

      • on another note, there’s a picture floating around FB. It has 3 small children holding a letter to spell J-O-Y. However, every single one of them is crying. It’s too funny.

  2. Have a safe and blessed Christmas with your family. May you come home with enough wonderful memories that will tide you over until you return again! Merry Christmas!

  3. It is so true that emotions seem to go into overdrive this time of year, isn’t it? Your post was very timely and spot on for me today, especially after dealing with a particular relative that seems to enjoy pushing everyone’s “buttons” during the holidays and has successfully done so once again this year. Thanks for sharing!

    • Oh no! Sometimes that situation can be a real buzz kill :(. But I’m sure YOU will rise above it and have a wonderful holiday despite this person! A little wine couldn’t hurt either 🙂 haha!

  4. I love it ~ “I choose joy!” is my motto for living each day. I realized years ago that those that are rude, disrespectful, or down right mean (like threatening to put your husband in a dumpster) might be having a bad day, an unhappy life, or whatever, but that it’s my responsibility to be accountable for my own behavior, and, so, I CHOOSE JOY! Thanks for sharing this important message.

  5. Absolutely agree Rachel. I tell my children all the time, worry about you and then you won’t have time to worry about what someone else is doing. I think as a society we look for someone else to blame for anything just to get the unwanted attention off of us. I think it’s funny how people look and look for the closest parking spot, but will walk an entire mall for most of the day. If you are too lazy to walk out of the parking into the store, don’t go. I have also noticed holiday spirit isn’t around anymore. People fumble and fight over the last Barbie in stock when there are dozens of others that will do just nicely. We can’t give our children everything; it sets a bad precedence. So in light of everything Merry Christmas to you and your family (everyone on the blog) and very Happy New Year.


  6. Rachel,
    I don’t know if you remember me, I am Teri from next door in Paramount on Harrison! I really enjoy your messages. You are a great reflection of the parents that raised a beautiful daughter! Your family still holds a special place in my heart. Merry Christmas to you and you family and the whole Dong clan!

    • Teri! Of course I remember you! Weird random memory– You made sauteed mushrooms in butter and let us eat them for a snack. I fell in love. Still one of my favorite things to add to anything I make! Hope you are doing well!!!! Xoxoxo!

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