That One Time a BAT Flew In My House

New Jersey has a lot of interesting animals roaming around.  I see beaver looking things crossing the road sometimes, deer all the time, and more squirrels and bunnies than I ever have in my life.  For being such a densely populated area, I’m constantly surprised at the wildlife.

But I’ve never been more surprised (or freaked out) than I was last night!

It was just a normal evening with my in-laws, playing the family card game Spades.  David and I were on teams, which never works out well because we always end up getting upset at the way we’re playing with each other.  Maya was sleeping.  We were sipping on wine and munching chocolate chip cookies and pop chips, looking intensely at our cards, when all of a sudden my mother in-law looks up and very calmly says…

“You’ve got a bat in the house.”

I look up, not really knowing what to look for (I mean who’s seen a real live bat before?  I know they have wings and are black but seriously, who actually sees a BAT outside of a zoo?!).  I hear my father in-law yell and then suddenly we’re all jumping around like five year olds and I’m screaming!

We all look at each other, not sure what to do, staring at the bat that is crawling on my curtains and has now tried to hide behind the curtain rod.

“Bug spray!” I hear someone yell and I bolt out the front door to the porch to get it.

“Hairspray!” I hear someone else yell and I bolt back in and towards the bedroom to grab hair spray.

Hairspray?!  Really?!

“Get the broom!” I hear and I grab the broom and practically throw it at my father in-law.

David and his dad take the two hairsprays in hand and count to three.  On three, they spray the living daylights out of that bat.  I am screaming, and plugging my ears.  Not sure why I’m plugging my ears at this point, for some reason it makes me feel safer.  The bat is trying to move, but it’s getting so sticky it can’t do anything.  I try not to look, but I see it start to stagger on the curtain rod and finally it falls to the ground!

“Kill it!”

“No!  Let it outside!”

“Kill it!”

We are all screaming and yelling things and for a moment I think I should just go grab my sleeping baby and RUN for it.  How the heck did a BAT get in my house anyway?!

Finally the broom hits the sticky bat that’s trying to crawl under the baseboard heaters and it’s dead.

Sorry if there are any bat activists reading this.  Okay I’m not sorry.  I wanted that thing dead!

We take it outside to I don’t know where, I don’t want to know where!  I disinfect the floor and contemplate burning the drapes when I begin to wonder how many more bats we have in this dang house and how can I just get back to the west coast already?!  I never saw bats out there…  And certainly not in my HOUSE!

I ask (okay, I beg, plead even) with my in-laws and David to please go check the basement and make sure we don’t have a colony of bats hanging upside down in some of the dark corners or bat babies ready to infest our home.  They look at me like I’m crazy but oblige because they’re the best people in the world.  I mean they just rescued me from a bat, people!  They come up empty handed and assure me the bat must have flown through the door when we had it opened earlier or something.  The thought of a bat living in my house for even a small amount of time creeps me out.

Sorry for no picture on this post, I couldn’t bear to take a picture of it!

So just when I was just beginning to think New Jersey isn’t so bad after all, a BAT has to fly and die in my house.


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8 thoughts on “That One Time a BAT Flew In My House

  1. We’ve had a bat in our house here in RI twice. It’s a totally freaky experience. One of my cats was trying to get it, and the other cat was yelling at it. Needless to say, the hunter was not impressed with the screamer. The look on her face was worth the freak out over the bat. The scariest thing up here, is that many bats have rabies. Definitely grab the baby and run!

  2. My daughter and her husband and 5 babies have found several flying squirrels flying around in theirs! They finally discovered they were coming in the attic through an ac vent! The kids love it and think it is funny but Mom and Dad sure don’t!

  3. Pingback: That One Time my Car was Flooded in a FLASH FLOOD | Urban Hallelujah

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